She Wasn't Mine
by fluttercullen89
Summary: Snape's stalking someone... kinda sad. Ok, really sad if you've read Deathly Hallows.


**Hey, all. Wow... I never thought I would be able to write this. It's only my third story and it's the longest one to boot! I hope you like it. I was just thinking about Snape and how much he loved Lily... and here's the plot bunny that arose from that random thinking!**

The majority of my time over the past two years had been spent following her. Sometimes, just sometimes, I can see her sad smile when she turns around, sensing someone watching. Watching and waiting. Waiting... for her to forgive me.

And while I've been waiting, she's been made Head Girl. I always knew she'd get it. She was intelligent, kind to everyone, and... beautiful.

But she wasn't mine.

Lately I noticed from my usual distance that she'd been allowing HIM to walk beside her. I try to imagine it's because she needs civility between herself and the Head Boy. At least, that's my hope.

But for a while now I've seen her smile while in his presence. There's light in her eyes when she looks at him. And just yesterday, I even saw her laugh at something he said to her.

Oh, that laugh. She used to laugh like that when we were together. When we were friends. We would even have a good laugh when she denied Potter's latest advances. But if I was being truthful, I never saw the joke reach her eyes. Almost as if she felt sorry for the toe-rag.

Today she happens to be alone in her particular part of the courtyard, her long red hair swishing slowly as she scuffs the flagstones with her shoes. I drink her in, knowing this is one of the rare moments in which I can catch her alone. As she continues the incessant scuffing, my mind wanders back to the last conversation we had.

_"Hello, Lily."_

_A pause._

_"Hello. Severus." She scuffed her Gryffindor sneakers amongst the wood chips, sitting on the same swing from which she jumped on the day we met._

_"Erm..."_

_"It's alright, Sev. You don't need to say anything."_

_"Oh, Lily! I knew you'd forgive me! You're my best friend and I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it." As my rant went on, I lost steam, ending on a whisper._

_She just looked at me._

_"Aren't you going to say something?"_

_"Severus..." More scuffing. "How are your other friends? Avery and Mulciber, was it?" Lily looked down at her shoes, seemingly taken with how interesting they had suddenly become._

_"I... we..." Lily sighed._

_"Then you know my answer, Sev."_

_"But – Lily it's our last year at Hogwarts. Can't you just..."_

_"No." It was firm. It was concise. Lily wouldn't have it any other way. If I didn't know her so well, I would have kept trying. But I knew better._

_She was done with me._

_"Goodbye, Severus."_

_Another pause._

_"Goodbye, Lily."_

I hadn't tried to talk to her since that day on the playground. Our playground. I knew I would have to do something drastic to get her to talk to me again. But what could that be?

I was suddenly pulled out of my reverie by the sound of her laugh. Her wonderful, beautiful, bubbly laugh. My eyes followed her line of sight and I felt myself smirk as I witnessed Potter, in all his Quidditch captain glory, face-down on the flagstones, books strewn about him. Black was also laughing.

It was then that Lily stopped her scuffing, rose from her place under a tree, and flounced over to Potter. She smiled down at him and offered out her hand, seeing as Black was too busy wheezing and coughing from laughing too much. Potter smiled back, taking the proffered hand. I was close enough to hear her whisper "Hello" while stifling another giggle.

"Hello, yourself," the toe-rag answered.

"Head duties tonight, right?"

"Of course, mi'lady."

Was I the only one that noticed Lily's hand still being held in Potter's?

However, as soon as I posed this question to myself,it was answered as Lily squeezed said hand and weaved her delicate fingers through his.

Potter, the arrogant slime that he was, grinned from ear to ear.

As I reeled from this occurrence, I seemed to have missed the part where Potter and Lily had started walking, leaving Black behind to get over his heart attack. I quickly gathered my things and followed discreetly behind.

As I rounded a corner to an empty corridor, my heart broke.

There, with his hands pressed against the walls around her, Potter was kissing Lily. MY Lily. Just as I was about to barge in and break it up, I saw Lily tentatively reach her hands up and cup his face, a smile gracing her lips that were currently glued to Potter's face.

From behind my statue of the one-eyed witch I saw Potter's hands drop from the wall and grasp Lily's on his face. She broke away first, resting her forehead against his.

There were no words exchanged, just secret smiles for each other. Potter dropped one of her hands but kept the other firmly clasped in his, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it.

After one more stupid grin Potter broke away from the wall with Lily in tow, swinging their intertwined hands between them.

"Alright, Evans?"

Lily just responded by standing on her tiptoes and kissing his cheek. He barked out a laugh and scampered around the corner, Lily following in his wake. As she rounded the corner, I could have sworn she looked at my statue. But the moment was fleeting, and all I heard was a ghostly giggle to follow the deep chuckle in the next corridor.

I always thought Lily Evans and I belonged together. We could talk about anything and everything and never grow weary of each other's company. I could watch her study and she wouldn't say anything about it, just shake her head and go about her work. And I loved her. _Love _her. I knew right then and there, standing in that now deserted corridor that I would never love anyone else. Back when we were still the closest of friends, I used to comfort myself with thoughts of courtship, of marrying her and being with her forever. But she was never mine.

She wasn't mine.


End file.
